Codex: the net CAW3: " The science of data communication has been around for a long time. In the beginning we use tools like the telegraph and tele..."
I like this CATW because it is straight to the point, simple, and easy to understand. Not many people can use a semicolon properly, that is what makes this CATW stand out to me. The thesis is clearly stated in the first paragraph which sets up the response nicely. I also like that he excluded the less important ideas of the article.He kept his personal opinion out of the summary which was the right thing to do. Overall, the first paragraph is well written. I recommend reading your work out loud before posting it to blogger. This is a trick i learned to help see if there is any missing punctuation. For example, "If convicted clement roommate Dharun Ravi and his friend molly wei will go to prison." If you would've read this out loud you would have noticed that you need a comma after the word convicted. The comma means that there is a pause between the words, this helps the readers understand it easier. You must check your work for small mistakes like spelling errors and missing punctuation. You should also try to make your CATW longer than two paragraphs. Most of the sentences in the second paragpraph are run-on sentences. " The Article talks about the incident that happened at Rutgers University a few weeks ago in where to college students were arrested on invasion of privacy charges after they where link the suicide of one their classmate." This is a sentence with more than one main idea. This can easily be turned into three or four sentences instead of just one. Overall, you have the right idea of what a CATW should look like, you're just missing a few key components.
I like this CATW because it is straight to the point, simple, and easy to understand. Not many people can use a semicolon properly, that is what makes this CATW stand out to me. The thesis is clearly stated in the first paragraph which sets up the response nicely. I also like that he excluded the less important ideas of the article.He kept his personal opinion out of the summary which was the right thing to do. Overall, the first paragraph is well written.
ReplyDeleteI recommend reading your work out loud before posting it to blogger. This is a trick i learned to help see if there is any missing punctuation. For example, "If convicted clement roommate Dharun Ravi and his friend molly wei will go to prison." If you would've read this out loud you would have noticed that you need a comma after the word convicted. The comma means that there is a pause between the words, this helps the readers understand it easier.
You must check your work for small mistakes like spelling errors and missing punctuation. You should also try to make your CATW longer than two paragraphs. Most of the sentences in the second paragpraph are run-on sentences.
" The Article talks about the incident that happened at Rutgers University a few weeks ago in where to college students were arrested on invasion of privacy charges after they where link the suicide of one their classmate." This is a sentence with more than one main idea. This can easily be turned into three or four sentences instead of just one. Overall, you have the right idea of what a CATW should look like, you're just missing a few key components.